Sharing is hard.

Over the past few days, I’ve been dreading the winter break from school because it means that I’ll be without my boys for about a week straight. Co-parenting is tough enough as it is, but having to share parenting time for special moments during the year makes my heart feel like it’s trying to push right through my skin, to borrow a phrase from Patty Griffin.

In times like this, I think about all of the other mamas and daddies who feel like me, who navigate sharing parenting time and kiss their kids’ cheeks on their way out the door or at the bus stop knowing that they won’t see their babies again until Christmas day. And my heart grows even more big and sore.

I must admit when I’m faced with this ache, I oftentimes try to self-medicate without feeling it and moving through it in a more healthy way. When I was going through a divorce several years ago, my friend Liz would remind me often, “Feel the hurt but don’t quit dreaming.”

I think that’s such a beautiful way to look at hard times in life.. to hold both the pain and the dream in one open hand.

If you are navigating something tough right now, something that makes your heart feel like it’s going to push through your skin, I want you to know that you’re not alone. And I truly believe if we keep feeling the pain and dreaming the dreams we have for our lives, we’ll find ourselves there one day.

I’m sending love from my broken heart to yours.

ellie signature

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